MamaBlogger365 – Can you pass the “NurtureShock” Parenting Quiz? by Lowry Manders

Compare the two statements. Can you tell which one is the common, false assumption and which one is the research-based new way of thinking for parents?

1. Praise
a. If a child believes he is smart, he won’t be intimidated by new academic challenges.
b. Giving the kids the label “smart” might cause them to under-perform, avoid academic risks and challenges.

2. Sleep
a. A loss of one hour of sleep in a child has an exponential impact on children that it does not have on adults.
b. Children’s brains are much like ours and can “catch up” and manage on less sleep every now and then just like we do without damage.

3. Race
a. Children are “color-blind”, so it’s important that we not point out physical differences in people.
b. Young children need explicit conversations about race so that their minds do not “lock in” negative generalizations out of ignorance.

4. Lying
a. When children are young and do not yet understand what lying is, parents should let it go, realizing that they will grow out of it when they learn these distinctions.
b. Most young children can distinguish a lie from the truth, and the better they can, the more likely they are to lie, given the chance. And it is a habit they grow into.

5. Intelligence Tests
a. A child’s tested measure of intelligence at a young age is a reliable predictor of his future academic success.
b. All placement tests are ineffective predictors of a young child’s academic success because young kids’ brains are a work in progress.

6. Siblings
a. Children learn just as many poor social skills from their interactions with siblings as they do positive ones, so they sometimes have inferior social skills to those of an only child.
b. Children with siblings are more skilled at getting along than children with no siblings because they have thousands more interactions to learn from.

7. Arguing with Teens
a. Teens who argue more with their parents are the most likely to break rules and tell lies.
b. Though arguing with their teen stresses parents out, moderate conflict is actually a sign of respect and is associated with better adjustment for the teen.

8. Self-Control
a. Just like intelligence, self-control can be “exercised” and developed in the brain.
b. Self-control is a fixed trait: either you have it or you don’t.

9. Arguing with your spouse
a. Being exposed to constructive marital conflict can be good for children.
b. It is best for parents to shield their children from their arguments.

10. Language Development
a. The most important focus for language development in children is to push massive amounts of language into baby’s ear/ brain.
b. The parent’s main focus in language development of the baby is to notice what information is coming from baby.

(Answers: 1b, 2a, 3b, 4b, 5b, 6a, 7b, 8a, 9a, 10b)

Surprised? Intrigued? Nurture-shocked? Stay tuned to my blog,, for more revelations, details, and practical suggestions related to each of these important parenting issues…

Bio: Says Lowry Manders, “I am a parent and music teacher, a teacher of parents, a child development nerd and lifelong learner, a singer and wanna-be-writer, and now, I’m trying to be a blogger! I feel I have valuable ideas to share, funny stories from my own parenting adventures, and hopefully, thoughtful reflections that will speak to YOU as a struggling mommy, because we’re all in this together! As a teacher, my mission is helping families to MAKE CONNECTIONS: connections in little growing brains and emotional connections that will last a lifetime, giving young children the foundations they need to achieve their full potential, even while creating more meaningful moments for parents with their kids. I created “Parent with Purpose” classes to share practical and inspirational ideas with fellow sojourners on this important path. Click on my website to get some great parenting tips, and download some of my helpful hand-outs. Since I am also a Kindermusik teacher, I believe that music is the most powerful tool for making these connections (and research proves it), so, of course, my own parenting style is pretty much Maria Von Trapp meets Mr. Rogers.”

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