MamaBlogger365 – Sorrow: A Trilogy by Shira Adler, Diva Mama

SORROW has many faces. Sorrow doesnʼt discriminate, nor does it tread lightly. When we speak of sorrow, like a universal code, we know it means trouble; a death, an illness, the loss of a job, betrayal. Sometimes itʼs personal; the loss of self esteem, the onset of depression. Other times itʼs global; think Steve Jobs and the loss of everyoneʼs favorite pioneering tech guru.

In almost every instance we cry when sorrow darkens our doorstep, for the very reason that sorrow makes us sad, and we cry when weʼre sad. I’ve come to believe the worst sorrow comes when it affects us directly. None of us actually knew Steve Jobs, but Iʼm writing this blog on the computer he invented, today I talked to my daughter on the phone he invented, and before bed tonight my son relaxed using the portable tablet he invented. It doesnʼt get more personal than that.

And who knows, with Steve Jobs gone, whoʼs going to invent the next generation of devices that make us love APPLE more than any other brand in the world? Yes, Apple is the most loved brand in the US, the UK, in France, Italy, Russia, Israel, even Pakistan. I took a cab ride the other night and was informed by my lovely Pakistani driver that Steve Jobs death was the lead story on their network news program. Their products arenʼt just evolutionary, they are revolutionary. Who gets to lead the revolution?

I never met John Lennon, but heʼs meant more to my honey, so by extension to me, than almost anyone else, ever. He would have been 71 today. Imagine. When he was assassinated a generation ago, everyone felt the pain and sorrow, and his passing still haunts many of us 31 years later. The sorrow has faded, but it will never fade away. His genius wasnʼt just that he, along with Paul, wrote more hit songs and sold more records than anyone else ever, itʼs that he informed a cultural shift that touched everything from the way we listen to music, to the way we wore our hair, to the way we went to concerts, to what we thought about when we fell in love.

Say the WORD and youʼll be free. And the word is LOVE. Nobody ever SAID that before in popular music with an incredible beat. Imagine if he had the past 31 years to create, to write, to continue the dialogue. Sorrow. The rule of three states emphatically that good, or bad, things come in threes and I’ve saved the worst for last. Sorrow.

My sweet, loving, talented, bright, capable, inspiring, loving daughter has been hospitalized – again. Sorrow. The pain, the unrelenting pain that I feel is unbearable. Imagine the weight of a thousand bricks piled high on your chest and that doesnʼt begin to describe it. I feel like Iʼve failed… her… my son. I can guide and protect and love and offer myself in ways large and small, but now as her treatment begins anew, all I feel is sorrow.

When is she going to get better? How could she be back in a psych hospital disguised as a small college campus when everything — school, friendships, extra-curricular — has been going as well as we could have hoped?

But sheʼs strong, sheʼs a fighter, and she will persevere in ways that will teach all of us, starting with me, how to feel sorrow and become better because of it.

As I continue to write about our struggle with post-traumatic stress and the toll it takes on all concerned know that my struggle will not be wasted if I can help one person address their sorrow with as much courage and commitment as THEY need so healing can begin for them.

The homework we come here to focus on knows few limits, doesnʼt care if it brings happiness or sadness, it just is. And so it is from this place that I say, no matter what your struggle — be it large or small — you can win, you can replace angst with calm, you can substitute tears for a smile and you can persevere no matter what. Iʼm going to read that last paragraph again and again… and hold on to the light while sorrow dances quietly in the dark next to me.

Bio: By day Shira Adler is a cantor, spiritual vocalist, certified pastlife regressionist, voice-over artist, producer, performer, writer/blogger and mompreneur and by night… well, she is actually the same person at night though she does admit to wearing fuzzy socks when no one can see her and hiding a secret stash of Mallomars somewhere near her writing desk for those late night pick-me-ups. In, around, and between her various work activities, she is raising two beyond-the-spectrum children as a single mom (though lovingly gives a shout out to her best friend, editor and soulmate whom she considers the bees knees). Is it any wonder her website’s tag line is One Voice Many Paths? Seriously, look up the definition of a multi-tasking Mama and you will find her picture there. But when it comes to living a life of connection, faith and consciousness Shira is the gal to call — or if you’re fresh out of Mallomars — she’s always happy to give you one. For more information visit:, read her blog at; Social: Twitter (1DivaMama), Facebook (DivaMama1), Tumblr (not really sure, but the name is cute) and LinkedIn (because doesn’t everyone?).

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