MamaBlogger365 – Female Band Invasion – the Journey, an excerpt, by Jax Resto

I’m at work. Excited. Today I will meet my first mom rocker hopeful. I found her on Bandmix and we are meeting this afternoon at my office. The only thing that would excite me more is if she played guitar or bass. She doesn’t. She is a vocalist, but I am excited nonetheless.

I sit cross-legged on one of the green fabric reception chairs in the waiting area, playing paradiddles on the chair arm with my drumsticks. A year ago when I needed an office in a hurry, I jumped at the offer to rent a room from my friend Matt in his electronics store. It’s a bit unconventional for a massage therapy practice, but since I spent my first round of twenties as a circus aerialist, and I’m spending my second round as a drummer in a rock band, I’m thinking “unconventional” is my middle name.

I hear the front door open and I peer around the corner. It could be a customer here to buy something electronic. A raven-haired petite woman bounds into the carpeted room that separates my business from Matt’s. I spring out of my chair and we hug as if we’re old friends. She swings the other chair around to face me and sits. I turn sideways in my seat to give her my full attention.

We make little small talk, both anxious to get to the heart of the matter. I tell her about my musical and overall experience in entertainment. She seems impressed by my past and excited about my future goals, going so far as to say she’s waited her whole life to find me.

She shows me her portfolio that contains a few photos of herself, of other people she has taken, and some artwork she’s done. Though I’m not quite sure what it has to do with singing, her artwork is impressive and Raven’s confidence and enthusiasm make it hard to believe she can’t do anything she sets her mind to.

Most importantly, she seems to agree to my main stipulation. No Drama. I’m not sure if I realize at the time how impossible that will be. A band with no drama. I’m not even sure it matters that much to me. My stipulation is in consideration of my family. For now they seem to be in my corner. I think they understand my way of thinking to some small degree, though not completely — my “The best revenge is living well” philosophy. They want me to succeed out of spite for the person who tried so hard to stifle my creativity. I want to succeed to prove… mostly to myself, that my creativity deserves to be heard.

Nevertheless, I think my family would have liked to see me unleash my wrath every now and then on the one they felt deserved it. It’s just not my way. Not because I can’t, but because I can. I feel like Chuck Norris… or a vampire, maybe, because the power I would unleash could be evil. I know I have the power to hurt with my words just by the observations I’ve made while knowing someone. Watching someone who thinks she’s getting away with things because I haven’t reacted. Confronted. I could so easily hurt just by speaking the truth. But I know it won’t change them. All it will do is give them an excuse for being horrible. And I just don’t like myself when I’m angry. I grin, now feeling like The Incredible Hulk.

Instead, I take all that energy, and work toward improving my life, myself — perhaps at first, with the driving motivation to stick it to them. But eventually that dies down along with their importance and I’m simply left with a better life. A better me. Maybe for me, too much happiness results in complacency. I guess no artist can excel without some angst. I will just have to do my best to not let it touch my family this time. Easier said than done.

That evening I excitedly tell my husband about my meeting with Raven. He smiles politely. I remind myself to be aware of how much I share — of the point where his jaw will tighten and his eyes will glaze over because he’s had enough of “the band.”

Watch next month for another “episode” of Female Band Invasion—The Journey, a work-in-progress by Jax Resto!

Bio: Jax Resto is a wife, mom and business owner by day, mom rocker by night. In 2010 she performed with Band of the Year at the Mamapalooza Festival in NYC. She left the band shortly after to start her own band of rockin’ moms Female Band Invasion. But her mom rock band took an interesting turn. Visit www.reverbnation.com/femalebandinvasion.

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Photo credit: ronnieb|MorgueFile

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