MamaBlogger365 – Female Band Invasion – the Journey, an excerpt, by Jax Resto

Need to catch up? Click here for last month’s installment of Jax Resto’s work in progress!

Part 3

Jax Resto

I am artistic, creative, and like to do things out of the ordinary. And I suppose I’m more of a leader than a follower. So doesn’t it stand to reason that at some point I would become drummer and writer in my own rock band?

A few days after meeting Raven — the first… second member to my mom-rocker band, we get together to figure out ways to acquire more members as well as market the band. We meet during the day while my husband is at work. Taking care not to share too much band stuff with him is no easy task, since even when I don’t willingly share, he asks. Just being polite or genuinely interested via selective memory? I don’t know, but once he opens those flood gates, it’s hard to curb my excitement. I wonder why he gets so annoyed about these things… or maybe why he married me in the first place, since all I’m doing is fulfilling my destiny. I know some of his frustration stems from thinking I take more than I should from stupid people. Evidently he doesn’t view my writing songs like “Cuntessa” as a viable form of retaliation.

I’ve told him that this time around he doesn’t have to be my roadie, but he doesn’t believe I’ll be able to fit an entire drum kit into my PT Cruiser convertible. He obviously doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. I think all the energy most people waste on vengeance, I pour into ingenuity.

Raven’s voice pierces the fog of my introspection. “Can you turn on the computer?”

I amble over to the desk she is sitting behind. Boot up the computer. According to Raven, marketing, management — all the behind-the-scenes stuff is her specialty. Great. She’s warned me, however, that she is not a people-person and since I am friendly and diplomatic, I should be the one to deal with people. A match made in Heaven.

We search Craigslist and Bandmix for musicians and discuss strategies. The day flies by and Raven leaves sometime before my husband comes home from work. Some days it doesn’t work out that way. Though he is always polite to her, I get the feeling he doesn’t like her. Or trust her. Or something. Perhaps he’s just wary of all things “band.”

Over the next couple of days, Raven and I deliberate over band names. After gads of suggestions and texts back and forth, I come up with a band name Raven almost likes: Hera Dawn. We settle on simply HERA, who was the goddess of women and marriage. We come up with a logo and place another ad on Craigslist.

Saturday we meet at my house with plans to work on some of my songs with a guitarist I know named Jake. Raven is first to arrive. Or so it seems. But after another half hour passes, I realize Jake is a no-show. Finding it harder to believe dreams of my ultimate band… or any band at all will come to fruition, I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

It’s been weeks since I’ve imagined myself standing in a long room full of windows. The moment I turn away from the dark window, I notice that all the other ones are bright. Sometimes I’m alone in the room. But other times, when I need a little extra boost of encouragement, my brother Ed is there, smiling and urging me toward one of the bright windows. I guess I must miss him today more than usual. I think I use music to fill the void he left behind when he left us in 2007. I give him a longing look, wishing I could stop to hug him. But he just smiles and waves me toward the window. While joy and hope are always instantaneous during this mental exercise, I know it may take a while before the physical results manif….

The ringing doorbell interrupts my pragmatism. I peak through the front window — the real one, rather than the one in my mind. Surprisingly what I see on the other side of the tangible window offers a similar feeling of hope and joy. But, no, it’s not my guitarist friend Jake. It’s my brother John… carryinghisguitar.

Yesterday I casually mentioned he should come over and jam sometime. I’ve said this before and in the years 15 years since we’ve lived two miles from one another I think we’ve jammed twice. How odd that he should show up today. I decide not to question our good luck and instead ask if he’d like to help us arrange some songs. He and his guitar and mini amp seem all too eager.

We work on a new song I wrote called “Looney Toons.” Though Raven commented the other day on how much she liked it, she seems to be making lots of changes to it. I have no objection to exploring other ideas, plus, I remember how it felt to be creatively stifled. Dismissed. So I open myself up to her creative input without taking offense.

Truth be told, I am having the time of my life, not only working on a song I wrote, but doing it with my brother. He is one of the reasons I started writing songs in the first place. Several years ago, we’d planned to collaborate. I’m not exactly sure what happened to that plan. But I didn’t realize until this moment how much I missed that fantasy of being a songwriting team with my big brother.

I imagine the possibilities of being in a band together. I’d gladly ditch the “all-female” theme for a brother/sister one. I wonder if he can handle Raven, who seems to have a lot of creative input. I observe, making mental notes, but also living in the moment of creating with my brother.

Watch next month for another “episode” of Female Band Invasion — The Journey, a work-in-progress by Jax Resto!

Bio: Jax Resto is a wife, mom and business owner by day, mom rocker by night. In 2010 she performed with Band of the Year at the Mamapalooza Festival in NYC. She left the band shortly after to start her own band of rockin’ moms Female Band Invasion. But her mom rock band took an interesting turn. Visit

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