MamaBlogger365 – Believe in Yourself and Your Passions by Kim Jennings
All of the feelings that go along with this are completely 100% normal. Fear, doubt, questioning, guilt. All normal. So what can we do with them?
A great mentor once told me to just notice them and let them go. Lots of people give this advice. Why bother spending time on these emotions – worrying about them, worrying about what they might do, worrying about if they are “right”? The thing is, all of the time spent worrying about emotions is much better spent on the REASON for the emotions in the first place. The passion. The fire that burns within.
The emotions of fear, doubt and guilt are there precisely because you’re onto something. Something real. You’re hitting a chord within yourself.
And remember, when you hit the chord in yourself, those gremlins arise faster and harder than before. Gremlins like safety. And it’s probably the same for certain people around you as well – aren’t we all, at one time or another, threatened by someone else’s success? Many of us would hate to admit it. For me, it’s certainly not on purpose – it’s just another emotional response to my own… fear, guilt doubt, and on and on.
So: be confident in the knowing. Reactions are just reactions. It’s the knowing that counts.
Know that you are on a path that will feed you much more down the road than you can possibly realize right now.
I’m going through this, quite literally, as we speak: after the 1st of the year, I’m cutting my hours back at work. On purpose, and with purpose. Lots of people have looked at me like I’m crazy – in this economy, to try to work less – are you kidding? No. Not kidding.
My 7-year-old will be graduating high school in the blink of an eye if I don’t do something about it. And fast. And NOW. And if I don’t announce the intention to change – write about the change to make myself accountable – and then live the change, how is change ever going to happen? There are way too many things I want to accomplish in this one and only life I have. It’s time to live my passions.
And honestly, yes. I am scared. This has been a life change months – years, really – in the making. I have gone through guilt over not figuring it out before, questioning myself over and over again with “why bother now” sentiments. I read into things, and I sometimes only hear the criticism and take that for more than it is. It’s work to quiet myself enough to have found what I know to be true in my heart. Lots and lots of work.
And yet, wouldn’t you know it: my stay-at-home husband has been out of work for three and a half years and, although he’s a wonderful father, he also wants a steady job. He started landing freelance gigs shortly after I started working on my “better balance” plan.
Coincidence? Would this have happened if I hadn’t announced my intentions and really worked purposefully to make them happen? Who knows.
The path directly in front of me is only that. There are bends in the road ahead. I don’t know what’s going to happen, not really. But I know what I want and I know that I have to work at getting it. I know that some people don’t – won’t – can’t understand. It’s just the way it is. No worries.
I am finally confident in the knowing.
So if you notice guilt or doubt, or any other self-sabotaging reaction to something you know is important and true, just remind yourself… oh, how interesting, I must really be on to something here.
Let’s get into that, shall we?
Bio: Sitting still has never been easy for acoustic/indie/folk singer-songwriter Kim Jennings. A singer, piano and guitar player for years, the songwriting bug only bit her in 2007. Not three years later, Kim released her debut CD “My Own True North,” co-founded the indie record label “Birch Beer Records” with fellow singer-songwriter Dan Cloutier, and launched the We Support Local Music blog along with the “I Support Local Music in Massachusetts” Facebook page.
Named to Metronome Magazine’s Top 20 Hit List for 2010, and voted Best Female Vocalist in the 2010 Worcester Music Awards, Jennings keeps a busy schedule, performing as often as she can and running her record label. Not bad, considering that in her “free time” she’s also a full-time working soccer mom.
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