MamaBlogger365 – Trust Yourself by Kim Jennings

Trust yourself. In many ways, you already know what you need to do. Maybe you don’t see the answer yet – but that solution is out there, and you will find it – and know it is right for you – when you are ready.

I love this topic. I hate this topic. I love this topic. I hate this topic.

Okay, okay. I admit it. I have trust issues. I have a hard time letting go of decisions. I spend more time than I should wondering if I’m doing the right thing.

— Have I made the right choices to set up life the way I’d like it to be?

— Are the choices I’ve made right for my family too?

— How do I KNOW? I need to know. It’s who I am. I like to know things.

And then I remember: what got me here won’t get me THERE. Wherever “there” is. That is entirely the point.

I have a brain that – for all its creative aspects, the writing, singing, and performing – defaults to envisioning not just the goal, but all 346,423 ways of getting to that goal. Yes, I’ve counted them. Yes, my brain can feel overloaded and overwhelmed. Big surprise.

I’ve come to realize that my need to see every turn in the road ahead comes from trust issues. I have a hard time trusting that things will work out the way they need to. I feel a driven need to KNOW it, to see each step along the way. I’m a planner. It’s who I am. It’s what I do.

But now, what got me here won’t get me there. Sure, when it was just me doing my thing, always in control of my next move – in work, in life, in school, in what I’d have for dinner or what kind of live music I’d go see tonight – seeing the way was a given. The choices weren’t that hard, the options were concrete, and life was (although I didn’t really know it) fairly simple. Now, things are different.

And – for me anyway – the hardest struggle is to stop overthinking so much. Don’t try too hard, always on, all the time.

This is what I am working on now:

Stop. Just stop. Find the inner voice. Listen.

And then, in that small space of quiet, when least expected, without even trying, when I am ready and I don’t even know it, there it is. This is how I felt when I:

  • Decided to start playing music again.
  • Knew I was ready to call myself “a songwriter.”
  • Knew I wanted to start an independent record label.
  • Knew I was ready to become a mom.

All the trying and thinking and planning and trying harder in the world can’t create that sense of trust. I know that now. Trust me… I bet you already know it too.

Bio: Sitting still has never been easy for acoustic/indie/folk singer-songwriter Kim Jennings. A singer, piano and guitar player for years, the songwriting bug only bit her in 2007. Not three years later, Kim released her debut CD “My Own True North,” co-founded the indie record label “Birch Beer Records” with fellow singer-songwriter Dan Cloutier, and launched the We Support Local Music blog along with the “I Support Local Music in Massachusetts” Facebook page.

Named to Metronome Magazine’s Top 20 Hit List for 2010, and voted Best Female Vocalist in the 2010 Worcester Music Awards, Jennings keeps a busy schedule, performing as often as she can and running her record label. Not bad, considering that in her “free time” she’s also a part-time working soccer mom.

Keep up with Kim Jennings and her musical projects at
www.kimjenningsmusic.com
, www.birchbeerrecords.com, and www.we-support-local-music.com.

The Museum Of Motherhood is the first and only facility of its kind, celebrating the “her”story of mothers around the world. We need your help — please make your tax-deductible contribution today!Visit the Museum of Motherhood, NOW OPEN in NYC – Tues.-Sun., 10:45-6:30.

Photo credit: Summer Rainbow Over Open Field by Barb Ver Sluis

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