MamaBlogger365 – Sisterhood by Julie Ann Cook
for KHB, and all members of this strange sisterhood
Driving home, I heard the news
that for the third time you were half too soon.
I took the news like a grown-up:
I calmly promised prayers and offered food,
help – anything – because that’s what we do
when there is nothing left
but to scream.
Because some days the sky falls and we simply call it rain.
Some nights there are no stars in view.
Some days the wind bites and brings aching pain,
and some nights we call the dark moon “new.”
While drying dishes, it hit me how hard it hit,
the weight of nothing to hold, no reason to wake
in the wake of broken water and dreams.
A shrill it’s not fair died on the floor,
as useless as peeled wallpaper,
a rotting plum. And I cried
because some days the sky crumbles into white flakes that fall
to hide the sharp, dark angles of this broken place.
Some mornings stay grey through nightfall.
Sometimes lightning strikes are crashing grace
So let’s let our tears roll like thunder,
sister, dear sister of mine. Let our wails pierce
this air that’s too thick to swallow, let them cleanse our souls
like Noah’s flood. And two by two, me and you and you and you,
let us grieve our losses as we hold each other, instead of the children
we have buried.
Bio: Julie Ann Cook is a happily married, joyfully outnumbered mother of four boys, one who was stillborn at 20 weeks. Between assisting in living room railroad construction and addressing concerns of who would win in a fight between Megatron and Iron Man, Julie is an author, artist, and webmaster. Only with the loss of John Blaise, her fourth son, did Julie gain perspective on the number of women who belong to the “strange sisterhood” of mothers who have not had the opportunity to raise a child they conceived. She now promotes awareness about miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death in hopes that others dealing with this loss may find comfort and healing, and friends and families may learn how to better support grieving families. Julie’s writing has appeared in various publications including the Kakalak Anthology of Carolina Poets, moonshine review, and The Wolf. She is currently working on a collection of poetry focusing on motherhood, and she blogs at Digging Cheese out of Carpet in her *ahem* spare time.