MamaBlogger365 – If You Could Only See Yourself as Your Child Sees You by Jennifer Covello
“In My Daughter’s Eyes” by Martina McBride is probably one of my favorite songs, not only because of her amazing voice, but the lyrics speak to me as few songs do. I recently heard the song again on the radio and it reminded me of an important lesson I need to keep in mind regularly and likely one you will as well.
I speak a lot about the need for moms to let go of the need to be the ‘perfect’ mom. This unrealistic expectation puts so much stress on us and leaves us exhausted. Is that what we want our kids to see? My guess is no.
The expectations from our culture for mothers today are in my opinion, ridiculous. Somehow, if we are not able to immediately lose our baby weight or to keep a spotless house or prepare Iron-Chef meals each night, we are somehow ‘less than’. Please!
Your parenting journey should reflect YOUR vision and YOUR goals, not that of so-called ‘experts’ who claim to know how to raise your child. They can’t possibly know. Every child is different. They can’t all be lumped into a category – otherwise, we’re raising robots.
Think about it. Your toddler has no interest if your laundry basket is overflowing or not. Your newborn does not care what you weigh. Your pre-schooler does not demand a culinary delight for dinner. What they do care about is if their mom is happy and stress-free because that’s what they really see.
They see if you are smiling or frowning. They see if you walk around with a phone in your hand all day instead of playing with them. They see that you take time for yourself or not. What do you want your child to see?
A few years ago, I lost about 15 pounds. All I could focus on was the number on the scale and the limited choices I had in my wardrobe. My children did not notice at all. They saw past my daily outfits of sweatpants and just saw me. They had no idea what the number on the scale was and it didn’t matter to them at all. If only I could have seen myself as they saw me.
I leave you with the final verse of “In My Daughter’s Eyes” and I want to encourage you to not just read this, but really consider what this means for you and your parenting journey. Because how you parent your child will be how they parent theirs, your grandchildren. If there are areas you can improve, then do it. If there are things you do well, keep it up. Either way, remember that your child sees you as YOU and loves you no matter what.
It doesn’t get any better than that – to be loved for WHO you are, not for WHAT you do.
“In my daughter’s eyes, I can see the future.
A reflection of who I am,
An’ what will be.
An’ though she’ll grow an’, some day, leave:
Maybe raise a family,
When I’m gone, I hope you’ll see,
How happy she made me,
For I’ll be there, in my daughter’s eyes.”
(Lyrics by James Slater, Sung by Martina McBride)
“The Purposeful Parent”
Linked In: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jencovello
Jennifer Covello is The Purposeful Parent, an award-winning author, blogger, motivational speaker, and creator of Frittabello baby gifts. With her unique perspective on parenting coupled with her sense of humor and vast experience, Jennifer is able to relate to a variety of women and the daily challenges they face as a mom and business owner.
Jennifer has been featured on both radio and TV programs for her insights about her journey from corporate “cubicle dweller” to “mompreneur” providing helpful tips and inspiration to moms and dads alike. Most recently she was on Better Connecticut Weekend Edition where she provided tips on overcoming SuperMom Syndrome.
Jennifer is a native of Long Island, New York and had a corporate career in IT and Marketing. She holds a B.S. degree in Management Information Systems from Indiana University of Pennsylvania and an MBA in Marketing Management from Pace University, New York.
Mamazina Magazine is produced by Mamapalooza, a mom-owned and operated multimedia organization focused on women-empowered, mom-branded, entertainment, education, business & activism, including supporting the Museum of Motherhood in New York City and it’s 5 Million Wishes campaign. Do you know what $1.33 can do?